山月記Mountain Moon Record
author: 中島 敦author: Atsushi Nakajima
隴西《ろうさい》の李徴《りちょう》は博学才穎《さいえい》、天宝の末年、若くして名を虎榜《こぼう》に連ね、ついで江南尉《こうなんい》に補せられたが、性、狷介《けんかい》、自《みずか》ら恃《たの》むところ頗《すこぶ》る厚く、賤吏《せんり》に甘んずるを潔《いさぎよ》しとしなかった。いくばくもなく官を退いた後は、故山《こざん》、|略《かくりゃく》に帰臥《きが》し、人と交《まじわり》を絶って、ひたすら詩作に耽《ふけ》った。下吏となって長く膝《ひざ》を俗悪な大官の前に屈するよりは、詩家としての名を死後百年に遺《のこ》そうとしたのである。しかし、文名は容易に揚らず、生活は日を逐《お》うて苦しくなる。李徴は漸《ようや》く焦躁《しょうそう》に駆られて来た。この頃《ころ》からその容貌《ようぼう》も峭刻《しょうこく》となり、肉落ち骨秀《ひい》で、眼光のみ徒《いたず》らに炯々《けいけい》として、曾《かつ》て進士に登第《とうだい》した頃の豊頬《ほうきょう》の美少年の俤《おもかげ》は、何処《どこ》に求めようもない。数年の後、貧窮に堪《た》えず、妻子の衣食のために遂《つい》に節を屈して、再び東へ赴き、一地方官吏の職を奉ずることになった。一方、これは、己《おのれ》の詩業に半ば絶望したためでもある。曾ての同輩は既に遥《はる》か高位に進み、彼が昔、鈍物として歯牙《しが》にもかけなかったその連中の下命を拝さねばならぬことが、往年の儁才《しゅんさい》李徴の自尊心を如何《いか》に傷《きずつ》けたかは、想像に難《かた》くない。彼は怏々《おうおう》として楽しまず、狂悖《きょうはい》の性は愈々《いよいよ》抑え難《がた》くなった。一年の後、公用で旅に出、汝水《じょすい》のほとりに宿った時、遂に発狂した。或《ある》夜半、急に顔色を変えて寝床から起上ると、何か訳の分らぬことを叫びつつそのまま下にとび下りて、闇《やみ》の中へ駈出《かけだ》した。彼は二度と戻《もど》って来なかった。附近の山野を捜索しても、何の手掛りもない。その後李徴がどうなったかを知る者は、誰《だれ》もなかった。Li Zheng of Longxi, a man of great learning and talent, was listed on the Tiger Roll at a young age at the end of the Tianbao era, and was then appointed as the Commandant of Jiangnan. However, his nature was obstinate and he had a very high opinion of himself. He did not consider it acceptable to serve as a lowly official. Before long, after resigning from his post, he returned to his hometown in the mountains, secluded himself, and devoted himself solely to writing poetry. He preferred to leave a name as a poet for a hundred years after his death than to spend a long time as a subordinate, kneeling before vulgar high officials. However, his literary fame did not easily rise, and his life became more difficult day by day. Li Zheng gradually became driven by impatience. Around this time, his appearance also became gaunt, with flesh falling away and bones protruding, and only his eyes shone restlessly. The beauty of the plump-cheeked young man from the time he passed the Jinshi examination was nowhere to be found. After several years, unable to bear poverty, he finally yielded to the need to provide for his wife and children, and went east again to take a position as a local government official. On the one hand, this was also because he had become half-desperate about his poetic career. His former colleagues had already advanced to much higher positions, and the fact that he had to receive orders from those he had once considered dullards and unworthy of consideration deeply wounded the self-esteem of Li Zheng, the former brilliant talent. He was discontented and unhappy, and his rebellious nature became increasingly difficult to suppress. A year later, while on a business trip, when he stayed overnight by the Ru River, he finally went insane. One night, in the middle of the night, he suddenly changed his expression, got out of bed, and while shouting something incomprehensible, jumped down and ran off into the darkness. He never returned. Despite searching the nearby mountains and fields, there was no clue. No one knew what happened to Li Zheng after that.
翌年、監察御史《かんさつぎょし》、陳郡《ちんぐん》の|袁《えんさん》という者、勅命を奉じて嶺南《れいなん》に使《つかい》し、途《みち》に商於《しょうお》の地に宿った。次の朝未《ま》だ暗い中《うち》に出発しようとしたところ、駅吏が言うことに、これから先の道に人喰虎《ひとくいどら》が出る故《ゆえ》、旅人は白昼でなければ、通れない。今はまだ朝が早いから、今少し待たれたが宜《よろ》しいでしょうと。袁
は、しかし、供廻《ともまわ》りの多勢なのを恃み、駅吏の言葉を斥《しりぞ》けて、出発した。残月の光をたよりに林中の草地を通って行った時、果して一匹の猛虎《もうこ》が叢《くさむら》の中から躍り出た。虎は、あわや袁
に躍りかかるかと見えたが、忽《たちま》ち身を飜《ひるがえ》して、元の叢に隠れた。叢の中から人間の声で「あぶないところだった」と繰返し呟《つぶや》くのが聞えた。その声に袁
は聞き憶《おぼ》えがあった。驚懼《きょうく》の中にも、彼は咄嗟《とっさ》に思いあたって、叫んだ。「その声は、我が友、李徴子ではないか?」袁
は李徴と同年に進士の第に登り、友人の少かった李徴にとっては、最も親しい友であった。温和な袁
の性格が、峻峭《しゅんしょう》な李徴の性情と衝突しなかったためであろう。The following year, a Surveillance Censor named Yuan of Chen Commandery, under imperial decree, was on a mission to Lingnan and stayed overnight in Shangyu. As he was about to depart early the next morning, while it was still dark, the station master told him that because man-eating tigers appeared on the road ahead, travelers could not pass except in broad daylight. Since it was still early in the morning, it would be better to wait a little longer. Yuan, however, trusting in the large number of his attendants, dismissed the station master's words and set off. As he was passing through a grassy area in the forest relying on the light of the waning moon, a ferocious tiger leaped out of the bushes. The tiger seemed about to pounce on Yuan, but suddenly turned around and hid back in the bushes. From the bushes, a human voice was heard repeatedly muttering, "That was a close call." Yuan recognized the voice. Even amidst his surprise and fear, he suddenly realized and shouted, "Is that voice not my friend, Li Zheng?" Yuan had passed the Jinshi examination in the same year as Li Zheng, and for Li Zheng, who had few friends, he was his closest friend. This was probably because Yuan's gentle nature did not clash with Li Zheng's stern disposition.
叢の中からは、暫《しばら》く返辞が無かった。しのび泣きかと思われる微《かす》かな声が時々洩《も》れるばかりである。ややあって、低い声が答えた。「如何にも自分は隴西の李徴である」と。There was no reply from the bushes for a while. Only faint sounds that seemed like suppressed weeping were occasionally heard. After a while, a low voice replied, "Indeed, I am Li Zheng of Longxi."
袁は恐怖を忘れ、馬から下りて叢に近づき、懐《なつ》かしげに久闊《きゅうかつ》を叙した。そして、何故《なぜ》叢から出て来ないのかと問うた。李徴の声が答えて言う。自分は今や異類の身となっている。どうして、おめおめと故人《とも》の前にあさましい姿をさらせようか。かつ又、自分が姿を現せば、必ず君に畏怖嫌厭《いふけんえん》の情を起させるに決っているからだ。しかし、今、図らずも故人に遇《あ》うことを得て、愧赧《きたん》の念をも忘れる程に懐かしい。どうか、ほんの暫くでいいから、我が醜悪な今の外形を厭《いと》わず、曾て君の友李徴であったこの自分と話を交してくれないだろうか。Yuan forgot his fear, got off his horse, approached the bushes, and affectionately greeted him after their long separation. Then he asked why he didn’t come out of the bushes. Li Zheng’s voice replied, saying that he was now in the form of a different species. How could he shamelessly expose his wretched appearance before his old friend? Moreover, if he were to show his face, he would surely cause fear and disgust in Yuan. However, now, having unexpectedly encountered his old friend, he was so nostalgic that he had even forgotten his shame. Would Yuan, if only for a while, not mind his hideous current appearance, and talk to him, who was once his friend Li Zheng?
後で考えれば不思議だったが、その時、袁は、この超自然の怪異を、実に素直に受容《うけい》れて、少しも怪もうとしなかった。彼は部下に命じて行列の進行を停《と》め、自分は叢の傍《かたわら》に立って、見えざる声と対談した。都の噂《うわさ》、旧友の消息、袁
が現在の地位、それに対する李徴の祝辞。青年時代に親しかった者同志の、あの隔てのない語調で、それ等《ら》が語られた後、袁
は、李徴がどうして今の身となるに至ったかを訊《たず》ねた。草中の声は次のように語った。Looking back on it later, it was strange, but at that time, Yuan simply accepted this supernatural phenomenon and did not doubt it at all. He ordered his subordinates to halt the procession, and he stood by the bushes and conversed with the unseen voice. They spoke of the rumors of the capital, the news of old friends, Yuan’s current position, and Li Zheng’s congratulations. After these things were spoken in the same informal tone as when they were close friends in their youth, Yuan asked how Li Zheng had come to his current state. The voice from the grass spoke as follows.
今から一年程前、自分が旅に出て汝水のほとりに泊った夜のこと、一睡してから、ふと眼《め》を覚ますと、戸外で誰かが我が名を呼んでいる。声に応じて外へ出て見ると、声は闇の中から頻《しき》りに自分を招く。覚えず、自分は声を追うて走り出した。無我夢中で駈けて行く中に、何時《いつ》しか途は山林に入り、しかも、知らぬ間に自分は左右の手で地を攫《つか》んで走っていた。何か身体《からだ》中に力が充《み》ち満ちたような感じで、軽々と岩石を跳び越えて行った。気が付くと、手先や肱《ひじ》のあたりに毛を生じているらしい。少し明るくなってから、谷川に臨んで姿を映して見ると、既に虎となっていた。自分は初め眼を信じなかった。次に、これは夢に違いないと考えた。夢の中で、これは夢だぞと知っているような夢を、自分はそれまでに見たことがあったから。どうしても夢でないと悟らねばならなかった時、自分は茫然《ぼうぜん》とした。そうして懼《おそ》れた。全く、どんな事でも起り得るのだと思うて、深く懼れた。しかし、何故こんな事になったのだろう。分らぬ。全く何事も我々には判《わか》らぬ。理由も分らずに押付けられたものを大人しく受取って、理由も分らずに生きて行くのが、我々生きもののさだめだ。自分は直《す》ぐに死を想《おも》うた。しかし、その時、眼の前を一匹の兎《うさぎ》が駈け過ぎるのを見た途端に、自分の中の人間は忽ち姿を消した。再び自分の中の人間が目を覚ました時、自分の口は兎の血に塗《まみ》れ、あたりには兎の毛が散らばっていた。これが虎としての最初の経験であった。それ以来今までにどんな所行をし続けて来たか、それは到底語るに忍びない。ただ、一日の中に必ず数時間は、人間の心が還《かえ》って来る。そういう時には、曾ての日と同じく、人語も操《あやつ》れれば、複雑な思考にも堪え得るし、経書《けいしょ》の章句を誦《そら》んずることも出来る。その人間の心で、虎としての己《おのれ》の残虐《ざんぎゃく》な行《おこない》のあとを見、己の運命をふりかえる時が、最も情なく、恐しく、憤《いきどお》ろしい。しかし、その、人間にかえる数時間も、日を経るに従って次第に短くなって行く。今までは、どうして虎などになったかと怪しんでいたのに、この間ひょいと気が付いて見たら、己《おれ》はどうして以前、人間だったのかと考えていた。これは恐しいことだ。今少し経《た》てば、己《おれ》の中の人間の心は、獣としての習慣の中にすっかり埋《うも》れて消えて了《しま》うだろう。ちょうど、古い宮殿の礎《いしずえ》が次第に土砂に埋没するように。そうすれば、しまいに己は自分の過去を忘れ果て、一匹の虎として狂い廻り、今日のように途で君と出会っても故人《とも》と認めることなく、君を裂き喰《くろ》うて何の悔も感じないだろう。一体、獣でも人間でも、もとは何か他《ほか》のものだったんだろう。初めはそれを憶えているが、次第に忘れて了い、初めから今の形のものだったと思い込んでいるのではないか? いや、そんな事はどうでもいい。己の中の人間の心がすっかり消えて了えば、恐らく、その方が、己はしあわせになれるだろう。だのに、己の中の人間は、その事を、この上なく恐しく感じているのだ。ああ、全く、どんなに、恐しく、哀《かな》しく、切なく思っているだろう! 己が人間だった記憶のなくなることを。この気持は誰にも分らない。誰にも分らない。己と同じ身の上に成った者でなければ。ところで、そうだ。己がすっかり人間でなくなって了う前に、一つ頼んで置きたいことがある。About a year ago, when I was traveling and stayed overnight by the Ru River, I woke up after a nap and suddenly heard someone calling my name outside. Responding to the voice, I went outside, and the voice repeatedly beckoned me from the darkness. Without realizing it, I started running after the voice. As I ran in a daze, I somehow entered the mountains and forests, and before I knew it, I was running, grabbing the ground with both hands. I felt like my body was filled with strength, and I lightly leapt over rocks. When I noticed, I seemed to have hair growing on my hands and elbows. When I looked at my reflection in the stream after it had become a little brighter, I was already a tiger. At first, I didn’t believe my eyes. Then, I thought it must be a dream. I had had dreams before where I knew I was dreaming. When I finally had to realize that it was not a dream, I was dumbfounded. And then I was afraid. I was deeply afraid, thinking that absolutely anything could happen. But why did this happen? I don’t know. We don't know anything at all. It is our fate as living beings to accept what is imposed on us without knowing the reason and to live without understanding why. I immediately thought of death. But then, as soon as I saw a rabbit running in front of me, the human in me instantly disappeared. When the human in me woke up again, my mouth was covered in rabbit blood, and rabbit fur was scattered around me. This was my first experience as a tiger. Since then, I cannot bear to speak of the things I have continued to do. However, for a few hours each day, the human mind returns. At those times, I can speak human language, engage in complex thought, and even recite passages from the classics, just as I used to. It is when I see the aftermath of my brutal acts as a tiger with that human mind, and reflect on my fate, that I feel the most miserable, frightened, and angry. But those few hours of being human are gradually becoming shorter with each passing day. Until now, I had been wondering how I had turned into a tiger, but recently I suddenly realized I had started thinking about how I had been a human before. This is frightening. If this continues, the human mind in me will be completely buried and extinguished by the habits of a beast. Just like the foundations of an old palace gradually being buried in the earth and sand. If that happens, I will eventually forget my past and roam around as a tiger, and even if I meet you like today, I will not recognize you as my old friend and would tear you apart and eat you without feeling any remorse. Whether beast or human, it must have originally been something else. At first, we remember it, but gradually we forget it, and we are convinced that we have been in our current form from the beginning, aren’t we? No, it doesn’t matter. If the human mind in me completely disappears, perhaps I will be happier. But the human in me feels this to be the most terrifying thing. Oh, how terribly, sadly, and poignantly I feel! That I will lose the memory of being human. No one understands this feeling. No one understands it except for someone who is in the same situation as I am. By the way, yes. Before I completely cease to be human, there is one thing I would like to ask of you.
袁はじめ一行は、息をのんで、叢中《そうちゅう》の声の語る不思議に聞入っていた。声は続けて言う。Yuan and his party were holding their breath, listening intently to the strange tale told by the voice in the bushes. The voice continued to speak.
他でもない。自分は元来詩人として名を成す積りでいた。しかも、業未《いま》だ成らざるに、この運命に立至った。曾て作るところの詩数百篇《ぺん》、固《もと》より、まだ世に行われておらぬ。遺稿の所在も最早《もはや》判らなくなっていよう。ところで、その中、今も尚《なお》記誦《きしょう》せるものが数十ある。これを我が為《ため》に伝録して戴《いただ》きたいのだ。何も、これに仍《よ》って一人前の詩人面《づら》をしたいのではない。作の巧拙は知らず、とにかく、産を破り心を狂わせてまで自分が生涯《しょうがい》それに執着したところのものを、一部なりとも後代に伝えないでは、死んでも死に切れないのだ。It is nothing more than this. I originally intended to make a name for myself as a poet. Yet, before my work could be accomplished, I have reached this fate. I have written hundreds of poems, but of course, they have not yet been published. The location of my unpublished works will probably be unknown by now. However, among them, there are a few dozen that I can still recite. I would like you to write them down and pass them on for my sake. It is not that I want to appear as a great poet because of this. I do not know if my work is good or bad, but I cannot die in peace without passing on even a part of what I was obsessed with throughout my life, even if it led to bankruptcy and madness.
袁は部下に命じ、筆を執って叢中の声に随《したが》って書きとらせた。李徴の声は叢の中から朗々と響いた。長短凡《およ》そ三十篇、格調高雅、意趣卓逸、一読して作者の才の非凡を思わせるものばかりである。しかし、袁
は感嘆しながらも漠然《ばくぜん》と次のように感じていた。成程《なるほど》、作者の素質が第一流に属するものであることは疑いない。しかし、このままでは、第一流の作品となるのには、何処《どこ》か(非常に微妙な点に於《おい》て)欠けるところがあるのではないか、と。Yuan ordered his subordinates to take up their brushes and write down what the voice in the bushes was reciting. Li Zheng's voice resonated loudly from the bushes. There were about thirty poems, both long and short, all with elegant style and extraordinary ideas, immediately revealing the author's exceptional talent. However, while marveling, Yuan vaguely felt the following: indeed, the author's talent was undoubtedly in the first rank. However, in their current state, there was something (at a very subtle point) lacking for them to be considered first-rate works.
旧詩を吐き終った李徴の声は、突然調子を変え、自らを嘲《あざけ》るか如《ごと》くに言った。After reciting his old poems, Li Zheng’s voice suddenly changed its tone and spoke as if mocking himself.
羞《はずか》しいことだが、今でも、こんなあさましい身と成り果てた今でも、己《おれ》は、己の詩集が長安《ちょうあん》風流人士の机の上に置かれている様を、夢に見ることがあるのだ。岩窟《がんくつ》の中に横たわって見る夢にだよ。嗤《わら》ってくれ。詩人に成りそこなって虎になった哀れな男を。(袁は昔の青年李徴の自嘲癖《じちょうへき》を思出しながら、哀しく聞いていた。)そうだ。お笑い草ついでに、今の懐《おもい》を即席の詩に述べて見ようか。この虎の中に、まだ、曾ての李徴が生きているしるしに。It’s embarrassing, but even now, in this wretched state, I sometimes dream of my collection of poems being placed on the desks of the elegant people of Chang’an. In a dream I have while lying in a cave. Laugh at me. A pitiful man who failed to become a poet and became a tiger. (Yuan listened sadly, remembering Li Zheng’s self-deprecating habit from his youth.) That’s right. Just for laughs, let me express my current feelings in an impromptu poem. As a sign that the former Li Zheng still lives within this tiger.
袁は又下吏に命じてこれを書きとらせた。その詩に言う。Yuan ordered his subordinate to write it down as well. The poem said:
偶因狂疾成殊類 災患相仍不可逃I became a strange creature due to a sudden madness, disasters and calamities follow each other without escape.
今日爪牙誰敢敵 当時声跡共相高Today, who dares to oppose my claws and fangs? Back then, my fame and talents rose with yours.
我為異物蓬茅下 君已乗気勢豪I am a beast beneath the thatch, while you are already riding the clouds with power and influence.
此夕渓山対明月 不成長嘯但成Tonight, facing the bright moon in the mountains and streams, I do not growl, only shed tears.
時に、残月、光冷《ひや》やかに、白露は地に滋《しげ》く、樹間を渡る冷風は既に暁の近きを告げていた。人々は最早、事の奇異を忘れ、粛然として、この詩人の薄倖《はっこう》を嘆じた。李徴の声は再び続ける。At that time, the waning moon was shining coldly, the white dew was thick on the ground, and the cool breeze blowing through the trees was already heralding the approach of dawn. The people had already forgotten the strangeness of the situation and silently lamented the ill-fatedness of the poet. Li Zheng’s voice continued again.
何故《なぜ》こんな運命になったか判らぬと、先刻は言ったが、しかし、考えように依《よ》れば、思い当ることが全然ないでもない。人間であった時、己《おれ》は努めて人との交《まじわり》を避けた。人々は己を倨傲《きょごう》だ、尊大だといった。実は、それが殆《ほとん》ど羞恥心《しゅうちしん》に近いものであることを、人々は知らなかった。勿論《もちろん》、曾ての郷党《きょうとう》の鬼才といわれた自分に、自尊心が無かったとは云《い》わない。しかし、それは臆病《おくびょう》な自尊心とでもいうべきものであった。己は詩によって名を成そうと思いながら、進んで師に就いたり、求めて詩友と交って切磋琢磨《せっさたくま》に努めたりすることをしなかった。かといって、又、己は俗物の間に伍《ご》することも潔《いさぎよ》しとしなかった。共に、我が臆病な自尊心と、尊大な羞恥心との所為《せい》である。己《おのれ》の珠《たま》に非《あら》ざることを惧《おそ》れるが故《ゆえ》に、敢《あえ》て刻苦して磨《みが》こうともせず、又、己の珠なるべきを半ば信ずるが故に、碌々《ろくろく》として瓦《かわら》に伍することも出来なかった。己《おれ》は次第に世と離れ、人と遠ざかり、憤悶《ふんもん》と慙恚《ざんい》とによって益々《ますます》己《おのれ》の内なる臆病な自尊心を飼いふとらせる結果になった。人間は誰でも猛獣使であり、その猛獣に当るのが、各人の性情だという。己《おれ》の場合、この尊大な羞恥心が猛獣だった。虎だったのだ。これが己を損い、妻子を苦しめ、友人を傷つけ、果ては、己の外形をかくの如く、内心にふさわしいものに変えて了ったのだ。今思えば、全く、己は、己の有《も》っていた僅《わず》かばかりの才能を空費して了った訳だ。人生は何事をも為《な》さぬには余りに長いが、何事かを為すには余りに短いなどと口先ばかりの警句を弄《ろう》しながら、事実は、才能の不足を暴露《ばくろ》するかも知れないとの卑怯《ひきょう》な危惧《きぐ》と、刻苦を厭《いと》う怠惰とが己の凡《すべ》てだったのだ。己よりも遥かに乏しい才能でありながら、それを専一に磨いたがために、堂々たる詩家となった者が幾らでもいるのだ。虎と成り果てた今、己は漸《ようや》くそれに気が付いた。それを思うと、己は今も胸を灼《や》かれるような悔を感じる。己には最早人間としての生活は出来ない。たとえ、今、己が頭の中で、どんな優れた詩を作ったにしたところで、どういう手段で発表できよう。まして、己の頭は日毎《ひごと》に虎に近づいて行く。どうすればいいのだ。己の空費された過去は? 己は堪《たま》らなくなる。そういう時、己は、向うの山の頂の巖《いわ》に上り、空谷《くうこく》に向って吼《ほ》える。この胸を灼く悲しみを誰かに訴えたいのだ。己は昨夕も、彼処《あそこ》で月に向って咆《ほ》えた。誰かにこの苦しみが分って貰《もら》えないかと。しかし、獣どもは己の声を聞いて、唯《ただ》、懼《おそ》れ、ひれ伏すばかり。山も樹《き》も月も露も、一匹の虎が怒り狂って、哮《たけ》っているとしか考えない。天に躍り地に伏して嘆いても、誰一人己の気持を分ってくれる者はない。ちょうど、人間だった頃、己の傷つき易《やす》い内心を誰も理解してくれなかったように。己の毛皮の濡《ぬ》れたのは、夜露のためばかりではない。I said earlier that I didn’t know why I was in this situation, but if I think about it, there are things that I can think of. When I was human, I tried to avoid associating with people. People called me arrogant and haughty. In fact, I was almost ashamed, but they didn't know it. Of course, I won't say that I, who was once called a genius of the region, had no self-esteem. But it was what could be called a cowardly self-esteem. While I wanted to make a name for myself through poetry, I did not seek out a teacher or try to improve myself by associating with fellow poets. Nor, did I consider it acceptable to mingle with the common people. Both were caused by my cowardly self-esteem and haughty sense of shame. Because I was afraid of not being a jewel, I dared not diligently polish myself, and because I half-believed that I should be a jewel, I was unable to mingle with the mediocre. I gradually distanced myself from the world and grew further apart from people, and as a result, I increasingly fed and fattened the cowardly self-esteem within me through resentment and anger. It is said that every human is a beast tamer, and that the beast is each person’s nature. In my case, this arrogant sense of shame was the beast. It was the tiger. It ruined me, caused my wife and children suffering, hurt my friends, and ultimately changed my external form into something fitting for my internal self. Looking back now, I realize that I have completely wasted my little talent. Life is too long to do nothing, but too short to accomplish something, and while I spouted such clichéd aphorisms, the truth is that my cowardice of perhaps exposing my lack of talent, along with my laziness that shied away from hard work, were all I was. There are many who have become great poets because they single-mindedly honed their talents, even though their talents were far more meager than mine. Now that I have become a tiger, I have finally realized this. When I think about it, I still feel a burning regret. I can no longer live as a human. Even if I were to compose a great poem in my mind now, how could I publish it? Moreover, my mind is becoming more tiger-like each day. What should I do? What about my wasted past? I can’t bear it. At times like these, I climb to the top of the rock on the mountain over there and roar into the empty valley. I want someone to understand this burning sorrow. Last night, I roared at the moon over there. Hoping that someone would understand my suffering. But the beasts only hear my voice, are afraid, and prostrate themselves. The mountains, trees, moon, and dew all think that a tiger is simply roaring and raging madly. Even if I jump into the sky or fall to the ground in lament, no one understands my feelings. Just like when I was human, no one understood my easily hurt inner self. The fact that my fur is wet is not just from the night dew.
漸く四辺《あたり》の暗さが薄らいで来た。木の間を伝って、何処《どこ》からか、暁角《ぎょうかく》が哀しげに響き始めた。Gradually, the darkness around them began to lighten. From somewhere through the trees, the mournful sound of the dawn horn began to resonate.
最早、別れを告げねばならぬ。酔わねばならぬ時が、(虎に還らねばならぬ時が)近づいたから、と、李徴の声が言った。だが、お別れする前にもう一つ頼みがある。それは我が妻子のことだ。彼等《かれら》は未《ま》だ|略《かくりゃく》にいる。固より、己の運命に就いては知る筈《はず》がない。君が南から帰ったら、己は既に死んだと彼等に告げて貰えないだろうか。決して今日のことだけは明かさないで欲しい。厚かましいお願だが、彼等の孤弱を憐《あわ》れんで、今後とも道塗《どうと》に飢凍《きとう》することのないように計らって戴けるならば、自分にとって、恩倖《おんこう》、これに過ぎたるは莫《な》い。It is time to say goodbye. The time is approaching when I must become drunk (the time when I must return to being a tiger), said Li Zheng’s voice. But, before we part, there is one more request. It is about my wife and children. They are still in my hometown. Of course, they should not know of my fate. When you return from the south, could you please tell them that I have already died? Please never reveal today’s events. It is a presumptuous request, but if you could take pity on their isolation and weakness and make sure that they do not go hungry and cold, there would be no greater kindness for me.
言終って、叢中から慟哭《どうこく》の声が聞えた。袁もまた涙を泛《うか》べ、欣《よろこ》んで李徴の意に副《そ》いたい旨《むね》を答えた。李徴の声はしかし忽《たちま》ち又先刻の自嘲的な調子に戻《もど》って、言った。After he finished speaking, a wail was heard from the bushes. Yuan also shed tears and happily replied that he would gladly fulfill Li Zheng's wishes. However, Li Zheng’s voice suddenly returned to its earlier self-deprecating tone and said.
本当は、先《ま》ず、この事の方を先にお願いすべきだったのだ、己が人間だったなら。飢え凍えようとする妻子のことよりも、己《おのれ》の乏しい詩業の方を気にかけているような男だから、こんな獣に身を堕《おと》すのだ。Actually, if I were human, I should have asked for this favor first. Because I am a man who cares more about his meager poetic career than about his wife and children who are about to go hungry and cold, I am descending to this beastly form.
そうして、附加《つけくわ》えて言うことに、袁が嶺南からの帰途には決してこの途《みち》を通らないで欲しい、その時には自分が酔っていて故人《とも》を認めずに襲いかかるかも知れないから。又、今別れてから、前方百歩の所にある、あの丘に上ったら、此方《こちら》を振りかえって見て貰いたい。自分は今の姿をもう一度お目に掛けよう。勇に誇ろうとしてではない。我が醜悪な姿を示して、以《もっ》て、再び此処《ここ》を過ぎて自分に会おうとの気持を君に起させない為であると。And, he added that Yuan should not pass this way on his return from Lingnan, as he might be drunk at that time and attack his old friend without recognizing him. Also, he asked Yuan to climb the hill about a hundred paces ahead after they part and look back this way. He would show him his current form again. Not to boast of his courage, but to show him his hideous appearance, so that he would not have the urge to pass this way again and meet him.
袁は叢に向って、懇《ねんご》ろに別れの言葉を述べ、馬に上った。叢の中からは、又、堪《た》え得ざるが如き悲泣《ひきゅう》の声が洩《も》れた。袁
も幾度か叢を振返りながら、涙の中に出発した。Yuan said farewell to the bushes with a sincere expression and mounted his horse. From the bushes, a sound of unbearable weeping was heard again. Yuan, also looking back at the bushes several times, departed in tears.
一行が丘の上についた時、彼等は、言われた通りに振返って、先程の林間の草地を眺《なが》めた。忽ち、一匹の虎が草の茂みから道の上に躍り出たのを彼等は見た。虎は、既に白く光を失った月を仰いで、二声三声咆哮《ほうこう》したかと思うと、又、元の叢に躍り入って、再びその姿を見なかった。When the party reached the top of the hill, they looked back at the grassy area in the forest as they had been told. Suddenly, they saw a tiger leap out of the bushes onto the path. The tiger, after looking up at the moon that had already lost its white light, roared two or three times before jumping back into the bushes and disappearing from sight again.
底本:「李陵・山月記」新潮文庫、新潮社Source text: "Li Ling and Mountain Moon Record", Shinchosha Bunko, Shinchosha
1969(昭和44)年9月20日発行Published September 20, 1969 (Showa 44)
入力:平松大樹Input: Daiki Hiramatsu
校正:林めぐみProofreading: Megumi Hayashi
1998年11月12日公開Released November 12, 1998
2010年11月2日修正Revised November 2, 2010
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